Just Thinking.........Again

Times have sure changed since I was a kid.  A few weeks ago a 9-year-old set fire to a Dollar General Store in Chattanooga because he was mad at his mother.  The store and all its contents were a total loss and the seven employees are out of work. 

Anyone that has kids can relate to the unsaid part of this story.  That is where the sweet and innocent child asks mom to buy them the toy or the candy that has struck their fancy. 

"But mom I want it," says little Johnny.

"I said no.  Next time I'll leave you at home if your going to bug me about every toy and every piece of candy," mom says firmly. 

"MOM, I WANT IT REALLY BAD."

This is the point where we witness how times have changed.  When I was a child, little Johnny might well have got backhanded for talking to his mother disrespectfully.  He would have at least had a serious threat whispered in his ear.  Several come to mind:

"When we get home, I'm going to tell your father." Most of the time, mom didn't really tell dad and when she did, the fire was gone from the story.  But once in a while she did and that's all it took.  Dad didn't have to whoop you every time.  It only takes one memorable one for the threat to carry weight.

"One more word and you're grounded for a _____" (Insert week, month, year, or rest of your life depending on severity of said deed and mood of said mother.)

"If I hear one more word, I'm going to ……." And then the threat became intelligible.  I was never really clear if there was something mom was going to do or if I was supposed to fill in the blank.  I did many times, wondering if she would drop me at an orphanage or leave me at the zoo.

And then there is the ever popular counting.  This is where mom stares a hole through Johnny and begins to count with her teeth clenched in rage.  This is serious business now.  By the way, kids, never ask mom if she is counting to 3 or 10…… I'm just saying.

In the world today the tender egos of our little darlings is first and foremost.  We can't bruise an ego or make them feel bad about themselves now can we?  Who came up with these childrearing rules anyway?  I'm betting it was the toymakers or the people who put the candy bars and trinkets at the cash register that every kid wants to buy.

Now I'm not saying you have to go around and whip your kids all the time, but, as a parent you must have some authority.  The world has put the kids in charge and don't think for a minute they don't know it.  As the result of the evil born in their heart they will find the boundaries that are allowed.  When they continue to press and find there are none, they are quickly calling the shots.

I don't know anything about this 9 year old in Chattanooga but I bet he is no different than any other nine year old.  This one was mad at his mom and stormed to the back of the store where he lit the toilet paper on fire.  What do you suppose was going through his head as he watched the store burn?  Was it repentance?  Was he sorry? Or was thinking he made his point with mom not to cross him again?  That mother knows and her response will either allow or disrupt the pattern in that young man's life. 

With so many broken families, there is no father to be an authority.  The breakup of the family is a tragedy.  Working single moms do their best and don't want to spend the limited time with their kids at war.  The excuses seem good and logical but the problem started long ago in a garden with two adults. 

Just thinking

Doug.